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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Lying in Wait

Vexing venom sneaks in, just when I think darkness is beginning to lift.  The black mood lingers just below the surface, a hidden reptile waiting to lash out.  And it does, seemingly from nowhere.  As often is the case it catches me by surprise.  I am not wise to the darkness that I harbor.  I have spent a lifetime ignoring and suppressing it until my cup runneth over with toxins during this last year or so.

I think cruel and unkind thoughts of others who are undeserved of my wrath.  I do not speak them, but my eyes betray me as does the straight slash of my mouth which no longer smiles.  I disdain the gladness and energy around me and drift in the murkiness and fog.  Cynicism and sarcasm my allies, my thoughts full of both.  I do not like this voice within; this jaded angry voice.  I am thankful it remains silent and taunts only me and my thoughts and does not spew forth to the innocent world.

The sunshine chased the viper away last weekend.  I thought it gone or leaving, but I was mistaken.  Or is it possible that a new asp arrived in place of the last?  Surely it will leave soon and free my mind from the venom.

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