Friday, May 28, 2010

Nearly Summer

Last Labor Day I remember feeling so blue, a sense of fading in myself along with the season and the light from the sky.  I thought of that time as a "bookend" to the summer.  This weekend is Memorial Day and it too is a bookend to the summer, but the one I prefer.  My sense of fading has moved on and hopefully a lighthearted rebirth will take place in the coming weeks.

I've always liked summer, but since I've stopped teaching it's allure has softened.  The freedom that comes with the end of the school year, be it as student or teacher, simply does not exist with the constant duties of work.  Not having that "break" from the day to day....I miss that.  I wake up each morning and ask myself "what day is today?" because they all seem the same.  There is no magic of a Friday afternoon, when one works on any given day of the week. Other than changes in the weather and the length of light the same is true for the months that pass.

I hope this summer I can find some moments to catch a glimpse freedom.  A swim in a lake, a kayak on the ocean, walking barefoot through grass, seeing that first June firefly, skipping dinner and having ice cream instead, enjoying a sunset after dinner rather than with dinner or earlier....maybe by pausing to capture these moments, I'll get a touch of that old carefree feeling I remember.

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