Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Am I?

Forgive this self-indulgent trip through Doubtland...or let it wiggle over your brain for what it's worth.  When these little sing-songy things come to mind I have to jot them down or they're lost like the dreams I momentarily ponder and release.

Am I?

Am I brilliant, am I witty,
Am I altogether silly?
Am I stupid or a dunce?
Could I be “all that” just once?

Am I happy, am I sad?
Has my life turned toward the bad?

Am I koo-koo or insane,
Have I lost touch with my brain?

Am I reaching for the stars?
Am I settling for sub par?
Does my light still brightly shine
Or am I lost in turpentine?

Am I wandering in the night
Looking for a speck of light?
Am I lonely on the track?
Is there something that I lack?

Am I ever going to see
What I am designed to be?
Am I vibrant like the sun?
Is my vibrancy most done?

Am I young or am I old?
Is this a journey in the cold?
Am I filling in the holes?
Are there answers in my soul?

Am I getting hot or cool?
Are these questions of a fool?
Am I playing Dr Seuss
With foolish rhymes and self-abuse?

Am I making any sense
As I sit here on this fence?
Am I hearing what I write
Or seeing all I might?

Am I wanting to be free
Of the doubts that hang o’er me?
Or am I content to slip
Into endless limbo’s grip?

Am I alone in these deep thoughts
Or are most similarly sot?
Do I speak in foreign tongue
Or can you hear now what I’ve sung?

Am I arriving late for work?
Will my mind rest or repetitively lurk?
Am I solving any woes
Or is it on and on she goes?

Am I going to find an end
So my weary heart can mend?
Am I sure as sure can be?
I’ll just have to wait and see.