Friday, September 3, 2010

8/365 and 9/365 Happy Birthday


Today was my birthday.  "Happy birthday me" should be my response, but more accurate would be "sad birthday, me."  Today was an enormously sad day for me.  I don't know why.  It seems unfathomable but today I was a sad birthday girl.

My therapist has a that she pulls out from time to time when we discuss what the worst thing that could happen might be.  She says "what are they gonna do?  Take away your birthday?"  It makes me laugh each time she says it, but today I sort of wished someone would take mine away.

It's not an age thing.  I've never been hung up on age...age is a continuum and it's irrelevant.  I am absolutely the worst person to guess another's age-I just dont' think or care about it.  It wasn't being forgotten.  I received cards, emails, Facebook posts, and phone calls with wishes for me to have a happy day and a long one dropped the matter.

I wasn't ill; I felt fine.  I even had a doctor's appointment in the morning where the treatment made me feel better.  It wasn't that there were no special opportunities planned for me.  My best friend treated me to a lovely dinner and we had a wonderful conversation.  It wasn't a lack of exercise.  Tula and I had a nice walk in the windy "pre-Earl" weather this morning along the scenic Ocean Avenue.

So what was it that saddened my heart so?  I wish I knew.  A birthday girl shouldn't be blue on the one day of the year that's all about her.  What's wrong with me?  I don't like being the center of attention, and that didn't happen.  There was sun.  Work was not too strenuous.  It's all a little insane.

This evening I feel better.  I'm not a happy birthday girl, but I'm a neutrally emotional birthday girl.  Dinner did help pick up my mood a bit.  I guess I shouldn't worry too much.  Go figure; tomorrow is another day and the sun will come up and the routines of life will happen....and in my head it won't be all about me as it was today.  Maybe that will help.

Even though a sad birthday girl, I still took some photos.  Not as inspiring a process as usual, but a few I like, none the less.  Thank you for stopping're welcome to leave any insight on being a sad birthday celebrant if you like.  Stop by again on one of the other 364 days of the year when I'm more myself.

Tula and I spotted this little pile of rocks on a stone wall while we were walking this morning.

Yellow blossoms swayed by the wind.

Waiting for Earl.

Grazing.  I found these cattle in a scenic field on my way to dinner. 

My father's favorite....gladiolas.

And here's the beautiful image I found last night that became yesterday's best photograph of the day.  From a  front yard garden in amazing blossom.



Jamie said...

Sometimes birthdays make me sad too, I think my sadness stems from not accomplishing things I thought I would have by a certain age. Here's hoping the day after your birthday has you feeling better.

Corinne said...

A happy belated birthday to you...
Birthdays are so emotional, I don't know why. I feel the same - often very melancholy on my day.
Hope you've been enjoying the weekend!

Cherry said...

Belated birthday wishes. Probably best to go with the flow and moods are just because... Tomorrow is a new beginning. Beautiful shots - love those stones. Cherry XXX