Saturday, September 25, 2010


On-goingly my phone also reports the time

I've been thinking about time lately.  Thinking about time quite a bit and wondering if time may be the most precious thing of all.  Probably not....maybe love or faith or hope is more precious, but to me time has been feeling valuable, fleeting, elusive, uncontrollable and a bunch of other descriptive words. 

I'm not sure why time is on my mind so much.  It may be the equinox with a big 'ol fat full harvest moon; it may be the new and different commitments I've added to my schedule or the ones I've taken away; it may be the birthday that went by about a month ago; it may be the season 5 episodes of Lost I'm watching involving time travel; it may be I just wonder too much.  That wondering thing is usually the culprit....gets me into trouble all the time.

While I like fall, it is a difficult season for me.  Toward the end of August I get blue as light eases from the days earlier and earlier.  It is a season of slowing down and of dying off.  I don't like the sense of fading and at times I feel myself fading along with it.  Summer seems so jubilant and carefree in comparison and it is sad to see it waning.

The last gasps.....

My father collects antique clocks.  He doesn't have a large collection just a half dozen or so.  In my mind I can hear the ratchety sound of him turning the key to wind them.  Sometime in May one of his large clocks suddenly fell off the wall at the office.  I was standing not far away and could see the clock falling but there wasn't enough time to get there and stop it. The clock did not smash, but is in need of repair. 

For several months now the clock has been stretched atop the wood stove awaiting a trip to the repair shop.  The clock's face has no hands.  It makes no tick-tock, chimes on the hour, or alarms.  Time in this case stands still.  Hmmm.  I think about how much time has gone by since it fell and wonder when it will be repaired.  For weeks I continued to glance at the wall where it had been....hoping to find "the time", but having to look elsewhere to satisfy my time-conscious mind.

It is no time o'clock

In our youth we long to be older, grown up.  Time stretches out and we beg for it to hasten.  As we age time quickens and we long for time to slow.  We savor time and scold ourselves for having been so frivilous and wasteful with our time when we were younger. 

We vow to "make time" or "take time" or to "take time out" for things of importance.  We talk of having a great time, a hard time, a meaningful time, a once-in-a-lifetime, or creating quality time.  We sigh and say that time has gotten away from us, that there isn't enough time, that we wish we had more time, or regret that there isn't time enough for everything.  No vacation is long enough "if we'd just had a few more days, weeks, months".....if time really could stand still.  Alas, it can not.

The time patterns of my days are shifting.  I'd been in the habit of sleeping "late" 'til 8 a.m. or so.  My body is now waking me at 4 or 5 a.m.  I'm not certain why the change.  This morning I decided to stay in bed and read.  To use my time wisely (as the teachers used to say), rather than be frustrated with time that seemed useless or wasted in fret.

I'm not sure why I'm writing about time today.  In fact I must stop because I have an appointment soon...time is dictating what I need to do, where I need to be.  There is no "time in a bottle" and time has no favorites or chosen few.  Time is what it is and will be what it is and it is the same for one and all.  Our lifetimes are of limited time that we have no knowledge what duration they will be-until they are no longer.  Time is precious, and perhaps I'm even right on this one, it may be the most precious thing of all.


Jamie said...

I'm with you, Fall does seem to make you stop and wonder if I've accomplished all that I wanted before the winter hibernation starts. This year I'm afraid the answer is no.

Carol Blackburn said...

Susan, this post is wonderful..........I'm speechless. I know I will have to read it again and again, when I have more time. (smile)

Paula said...

Susan, thank you for sharing such a "timely" post. The concept of time is sooo very rich. I used to feel sad in the autumn and then I realized that plants, flowers etc go to seed to bring new growth, new life the next growing season. The shorter days however, I never seem to get over until they start getting longer after the shortest day of the year, then I count the minutes. Again, thanks for sharing.