Saturday, October 30, 2010


This post is in response to "dynamic" from Maegen over at for her Sunday favorite photo challenge out there.  

The Sunday CreativeAs I try to make custom, I like the Sunday Creative word to reveal itself to me, rather than me go hunting for it.  I guess I use this not only as a photographic prompt but as a soul searching prompt as well.  There are times when that doesn't really work, but I'm surprised how often it actually does.

When I read the word "dynamic" it spoke to me right away.  Not photographically, but as if knocking on the door to the past.  Dynamic, well dynamics is/was an important musical term that I had a hard time getting my students to understand.  Since I taught elementary school I had to get it to it's core in a simplistic, yet big picture way: "dynamics is how loud or how soft".  Simple.  They just had a hard time remembering the word dynamics.  So when I saw made me think of my career as a musician which is something I dearly miss.  I wondered how dynamic would reveal itself this week.

Last night I had a visit from an old college friend, Donnie.  I hadn't seen him in more than 15 years.  He lives in Georgia and I in Maine.  He and his partner decided to do a "foodie" tour to 10 places they'd heard were known for good food and the Maine Diner has a reputation, I guess, for seafood.  Donnie was one of my dearest friends in college.  We studied in the music department together-tho' he was a year ahead and head and shoulders above me as a musician.  Anyway, we supported each other through the ups and downs of college and through life's woes as well.

Donnie, love him....and his partner Carey waiting for Maine lobster.

It was great to see him last night, if only for a couple hours.  He arrived in his private plane and after dinner I dropped he and Carey back to the airport.  They suggested I wait and watch them take off.  I'm glad I did.  It was pitch black and chilly.  Standing there waiting for all the plane checking I wondered if I was foolish to wait.  However, as the plane started toward the runway.....the dark night lit up with brilliant blue lights all throughout the open space before me.  I was awed and struck with a strong sense of melancholy.

Not much to see in the dark night...just a few lone lights and a lit signal flag in the field.

I didn't have a tripod, but you get the idea.  This is just a minute portion of the field.

As I stood there watching this field of colored lights waiting for the plane to go way out....I found the experience very dynamic.  I thought about Donnie and the accomplished, successful musician he is.  I pondered the way you start out on a journey and the numerous forks, intersections, freeways, side roads, and dead ends that come along that alter the dreams and visions of what you think you want or will happen.  And I wondered if only this or that or the other had happened how it would change my life's course.  Seeing Donnie was like having my present reach out and touch my past.  It was very moving, both happy and sad.  And it made me wonder what's next for me.  It was an intense and moving feeling.

And just then his plane came roaring from the left and up into the sky.  I waved and waved and wondered if I'll ever see him again, and if I do how will I look back at this window of time from that one.  Will this time reveal itself as filled with laughter, with heartache, with regret, or with satisfaction?  I'll have to just wait and see.

With little success I've been trying to take a Bokeh photo all month.  I think this might be it...entirely by accident.  Thanks Donnie....

If Only…..
There’s a sadness when your past touches your present.
Reminding of what was, what might have been, what isn’t, what is.
What didn’t go the way it should, could, or would have,
If only……

Glimpsing the you that used to be….
When dreams were big, laughter was louder,
And the future seemed larger than it really is
Brings pause and reflection of life’s present path,
And whispered prayers there’s not been too many wrong turns along the way.
If only….

For a moment you taste the sweet honey of youth,
Hear the echo of laughter, and see the visions and hopes.
Then they morph and wither into something entirely different
Unrelated, unfulfilling, cold and meaningless
Meant to be life.
If only…..

Are there new dreams?
Will one day this be a past my present touches?
Will it cause regret, relief, reflection?
A melancholic grasp of the soul?
Or a sense of satisfaction perchance?
If only….



Carol Blackburn said...

Hi Susan, wonderful post. That's one of the best heart-shaped rocks I've ever seen and a white one at that. Great find.

Corinne said...

Oh the Maine Diner.... Now I'm craving lobster Benedict :)
Beautiful post...

Becky said...

Wonderful post. I hope your future is filled with happiness in many forms and that your "if only's" are few!

laura said...

My Dear ,

I am once again blown away with the depth of feeling that you are able to express with your writing. It really is a gift.

After talking with you this weekend I felt the need to read what you had put on your post.

As you know my wish and prayers for you are filled with peace, love, happiness.

It is not always easy to look at the "if only's" in our lives and I give you much credit for doing so. Hold on and it will get better.

Keep on writing my friend.
Love you !

Clare B said...

Sounds like a bitter-sweet reunion. I think there are always the "if onlys" and "I wonders" - what I've learnt is that it's important just to choose a path and see where it leads. Maybe you need to back-track a bit or the path isn't exactly where you thought you wanted to be, but at least it's a path and not a desert or a forest with no direction at all. A little philosophical for a Monday morning, but there you go!

Cary said...

Hi lovely lady! Donnie and I really enjoyed your post about our visit. I was even more inspired by your wicked eye through that camera lens. You certainly are the creative one.

Well, I will help Donnie keep the promise of returning to Maine. I very much enjoyed the little bit we were able to see during our short visit and I look forward to a longer (more summery) visit in the near future.

Anytime you want to come to Georgia for a visit, just remember that you have a place to stay with friends here in our home.

Cheers and best to you and yours during this Holiday Season.

Cary and Donnie.